There鈥檚 an office in Victoria where the staff, unbeknownst to the 鈥渟uits,鈥� play a fun game during long meetings. It鈥檚 called Buzzword Bingo.
Each time a manager speaks in a meeting, the staffers, seemingly taking conscientious notes, are in fact filling in their scores after predicting which well-worn corporate-speak clich茅s will be used.
The buzzwords? If you鈥檙e working in an office anywhere in 2013, you鈥檒l know them well.
There鈥檚 thinking outside the box, when the rubber hits the road, going forward, on the same page, low-hanging fruit, an 鈥渁sk,鈥� on the radar, value-added, drill down, go offline, paradigm shift and (one of my favourites) a win-win.
While athletes are condemned for giving it 110 per cent, or suggesting it鈥檚 d茅ja-vu all over again, the corporate world actually creates and commits more bad, sad clich茅 abominations than any other part of modern society.
It鈥檚 actually a badge of honour, talking like a pin-striped dunderhead. Last year, Forbes, the business magazine, suggested 鈥� somewhat tongue-in-cheek 鈥� that using business-speak will quickly get you promoted all the way to middle management, even if you have no idea what you鈥檙e talking about.
It suggested ambitious ladder-climbers use these: Let鈥檚 circle back to that. Let鈥檚 put that in the parking lot. Let鈥檚 touch base on that later. Let鈥檚 blue-sky this.
Or: That鈥檚 the $64,000 question. I have an open-door policy. At the end of the day. We鈥檝e got to do a little more due diligence here. Let鈥檚 take the 30,000-foot view.
OK, I admit shamefully to having used one or two of the expressions myself. I used low-hanging fruit last week. I use win-win too much.
I love language, I adore words, I luxuriate in writers who can make sentences dance and do triple-back-somersaults, writers who can break the rules of grammar and split a huge infinitive because they like to boldly go into an exciting literary minefield.
It鈥檚 wordtacula.
I broke two rules there: a two-word sentence and a word I just made up. Not a memorable five-dollar new word, true, more a buddy-can-you-spare-a-dime word, but all mine. I think. Unless I stole it.
I love wordsmiths who can make you laugh or cry or think. I love that T.S. Eliot can write: 鈥淭o become a great writer, whatever you do 鈥� avoid piles.鈥�
Or that Steven Wright can ask, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 another word for thesaurus?鈥�
Last week, I found myself re-reading this sentence by the writer Ian McEwan: 鈥淭here was a loud crashing music in his head, a great orchestral tinnitus.鈥� A clever use of the word tinnitus, smart and evocative.
In this age of clich茅-ridden business-speak, of quick monochrome tweets rather than Technicolor paragraphs, where poetry is considered self-absorbed and irrelevant, where words are losing their power and beauty and ideas are reduced to a sound bite, it would be easy to yearn for the good old days.
You know, like Shakespeare鈥檚 time.
That鈥檚 way too precious. And frankly, there鈥檚 a lot to be said for high-speed, to-the-point communication rather than too much flowery verbiage.
Sometimes you just have to get on with it.
But let鈥檚 not, in our collective haste, lost in all this noise, forget the beauty of the word.
Spoken. Written. Sung.
Let鈥檚 not drown in a sea of sad clich茅s and predictable ideas. Let鈥檚 not get too lazy. Don鈥檛 let the suits teach us how to speak. Or think.
Some years ago, the writer Robert Beard put together a list of his favourite English words, the loveliest in the language.
Words such as demure, effervescent, eloquence, gossamer, halcyon, labyrinthine, lagoon, lissome, opulent, panoply, plethora, quintessential, ripple, scintilla, sumptuous and surreptitious.
Not many of those words will be in use in the offices of Victoria, or anywhere in North America, I鈥檇 vouch. Perhaps the suits should learn to think outside the clich茅 box when they speak at the next meeting. A real win-win for everyone. Except for the staffers playing Buzzword Bingo, I guess.
I鈥檒l leave you with one bittersweet, beautiful word. A simple farewell, a goodbye. A so-long-it鈥檚-been-good-to-know-you word. A word imbued with meaning and mystery. My word for today.
Sayonara.
